Yelping is a Sport

Lauren O'Hara, Staff Writer

Photo Credit:Peter Dasilva, for the New York Times
Co-founder of Yelp, Jeremy Stoppelman, at the company’s headquarters where his employees figure out the easiest way to complain about local businesses.

Yelp was established in 2004 as an outlet for angry moms who feel the need to yell at minimum wage workers and business owners behind a keyboard. After scouring on Smithtown Moms for a variety of inexpensive and easily-accessible food, one is quick to learn that many of the Facebook aficionados are also elite Yelpers.

On the Yelp page of a restaurant that specializes in chicken wings, Vina Grette, a self-proclaimed Yelp expert, rates the chain two-stars, complaining that “There’s too much sauce, not particularly on my order but there are at least 10 different kinds of sauces on the menu. How am I supposed to choose between creamy garlic, spicy garlic, and garlic zest? Some say variety is the spice of life but, ew there’s too much garlic!”  

While some of the avid users of the website are regarded highly for their intellect and way with words, one adolescent reviewer said “dhfsgdffg sjkdfh jsdf dsjfkbksd” about their local grocery store. At the same grocer, Guilliame Shaken, just rewrote sonnet 151 and gave it a five-star review.

Reviewing the library on Main Street, concerned mother Sloane Meanovel says “As a mom of a 36-month old baby, I’m used to working in utter chaos. This library was simply too quiet. How am I supposed to get anything done when I can’t hear the clanging of pots and pans or the receptionists’ nails clacking on a keyboard?”  

At the webpage for a nearby Friendly’s, Dianna Eat left “I asked for medium rare steak, which is typically cooked till it’s 130 to 135 degrees fahrenheit but when I received my order I whipped out my meat thermometer and the steak was 127 degrees fahrenheit! This place is gonna kill me! Not to mention, when I used my coupon, the waitress said the coupon was expired. Expired? What does that even mean??”

Why settle for mediocrity when you could complain about it anonymously online? You should only demand the best from your local Burger King.