Darn Kids These Days

This+is+from+the+minds+of+every+angry+baby+boomer%2C+like+Larry+Smith.

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This is from the minds of every angry baby boomer, like Larry Smith.

Stacy Wiener, Staff Writer

Kids these days are becoming more and more “woke” (as the youth say). Today they are doing the darnedest things like actually thinking about caring for themselves.

Back in my day, we didn’t think about such things as ourselves. The only things we cared about was getting our work done. So what if we got a little anxiety? So what if we almost lost our minds? These kids are so gosh darn selfish for caring about their mental health.

And another thing. These kids today are walking around acting like actual human beings with individual personalities, and they expect us to treat them as such. They’re supposed to be their parents’ obedient mini-mes.  How dare they form thoughts and opinions of their own. I say it’s an absolute disgrace.

That’s not even the worst of it. These gosh darn kids are believing all these made up fairy tales like Climate Change. Don’t they know Climate Change is a hokey make believe story made up by Obama and his army of special snowflake trolls. These kids go ‘round screaming such things as “The oceans are rising” and “The polar caps are melting.” That is a load of hooey. The ocean don’t rise on the greatest country on Earth.

That brings up another point. Why are all these kids moaning about how America isn’t the greatest country on Earth? They keep bringing up these other countries with “better” healthcare, “better” labor laws, and “better” literacy. But America has freedom. These kids should be grateful that they even live here instead of trying to improve this place. They talk up ways that America could be a better country, but what do they know?

Do they pay taxes? Do any of these diddly darn youth go off to work at the shoe factory? Did any of them get married at the age of 16? And haven’t any of these frickle frackers produced any children of their own? If these youngins want to be respected like us grown people, they best start acting like it.

Today’s Gen-Z kids are acting even more selfish and entitled than ever before. These ungrateful youth will live in our country. They will follow our rules. They will live in our world that we have set up for them.Honestly, how dare they stand up and demand rights! How dare they actually take action for comfortable living conditions! How dare they form opinions! And worst of all, how dare they grow closer and closer to the voting age!